PretzelPerfect

Not a real pretzel. Not perfect.

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Most Of Us Are Not Brad Pitt. by PretzelPerfect, literature

Literature

Most Of Us Are Not Brad Pitt.

But most of us are not Brad Pitt. No self respecting man will ever admit he has never been in a fist fight. Luckily for men, sooner or later, most likely sooner, they will end up in one. Through years of movies, comic books and TV-series impressionable young men - are there any other? - have learned the three main rules of fist fighting. Rule number one : the agony and damage caused by a right hook to the chin can be almost fully neutralized by simply rubbing it a few times while giving the opponent a sincere "You will pay for this."-look. Rule number two: breaking furniture or bottles over someone's head will result in nothing more tha

Chronicles of Paranornia... by PretzelPerfect, literature

Literature

Chronicles of Paranornia...

Chronicles of Paranornia : The sword, the twitch and the bad globe. If a list were to be made of coolest objects ever, I can guarantee you swords would end up somewhere in the top three. The sword would probably lose out to obnoxiously overpriced, Italian sports cars but it would still kick the X-box's squared backside. Of course it comes as no surprise I am thinking about the list from a purely male point of view. As beautiful and fascinating the Edelweiss flower may be as it blossoms on the highest peaks in what's arguably one of Europe's most barren locations, it automatically gets omitted from the list, simply because it does not reach

I used to be a Security Guard. by PretzelPerfect, literature

Literature

I used to be a Security Guard.

I USED TO BE A SECURITY GUARD. I used to be a security guard. I know security guards are often perceived as moronic knuckle dragging Neanderthals and not in the good sense. But I was not. I was part of a crack team. That does not mean we were experts. We were all addicted to crack. My team once saved some people from a burning building. The press called us heroes and heroines. They were half-right. I think I know why people in general dont like security guards. This is because you are jealous. You are jealous because we get to wear the cool uniforms. And Michael Jackson is the ideal babysitter. A security guard's uniform always looks lik

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Deviation Spotlight

Cartoon: Saint Seiya vs IKEA by PretzelPerfect, visual art

Cartoon: Saint Seiya vs IKEA

PretzelPerfect

About PretzelPerfect

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Dec 30
Belgium
Deviant for 17 years
He / Him

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My Bio

If for some reason I would find myself in a "cut the red wire or cut the blue wire"-situation with Deviantart being the bomb and the possibilities of the site being the wires in question, everyone would be dead a long time ago.

I have no clue how this site works and every time I think I found something, I lose something else immedia

Current Residence: South of Brussels, Belgium, Europe (Where History comes from.)

Favourite genre of music: I'll listen to anything, then hate much of that.

Favourite photographer: Royally Crimson RoyallyCrimson.deviantart.com/

Operating System: Vista... I know... I KNOW!!!

MP3 player of choice: Qualitywise: iPod, although I do not understand iTunes.

Wallpaper of choice: A Clownfish picture taken by :RoyallyCrimson: (See Favs)

Favourite cartoon character: Sterling Archer - Archer

Personal Quote: Probably something witty yet so not empowering.

Favourite Movies

Any Given Sunday / Pirates of the Carribean - COTBP / Godzilla

Favourite TV Shows

Archer / The Walking Dead / Bob's Burgers / Supernatural

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Not really a single band or muscian I can stand hearing 3 songs in row from.

Favourite Books

The Night Watch / American Psycho

Favourite Writers

Eoin Colfer / Terry Pratchett / Michael Crichton / Jim Butcher / Douglas Adams

Favourite Games

Settlers of Catan / Wordfeud / Machiavelli / Poker

Favourite Gaming Platform

PS2 for This Is Football 2002 / PS3 for Uncharted

Tools of the Trade

An AZERTY-keyboard. Damn you QWERTY! / Photostudio for the stupid stuff / And a brilliant Nex-3

Other Interests

Movies / Anime / Books / Comics / Stand Up Comedy / Poker

Posts

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PretzelPerfect

Mar 9, 2012

Old Work and New Shame

0 min read

Yesterday, I stumbled upon an old, yellowed manilla enveloppe, containing 50+ written and typed out pages I wrote between 1996 and 2006. It was during that period I was reading every possible "How to write"-book and just jotting down every story(line) that crossed my mind. If I harboured any ambition at the time to write the next blockbuster movie or series -script, I hid it very well. Never ever have I smiled so much at the memories linked to the pages while cringing at the words on them. It is a weird sensation.

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PretzelPerfect

Aug 4, 2006

Knock knock

0 min read

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Oh, you've already heard that one. I know, I know, it's a stupid little joke that will make 99% of the population groan but it still makes me grin every single time. All this just to announce my arrival into the Deviant Art realm, which will probably make you wonder (as it does me) if I am indeed as pompous as I sound in assuming that announcing myself is a pompous act to begin with. Next to the possible pompousiousness, I also suffer from an ailment which prevents me from stringing simple sentences together and just writing one long one thus turning into a seemingly unending cascade of wor